Chiropractic Enthusiast Gifts

'Our staff is highly skilled mam, but getting your husband to grow a backbone is simply beyond our expertise.'

"I can Botox it, but I don’t want to freeze up my sixth chakra."

"Cops don't get me. Sure, they got me – but they'll ever get me."

'I hope you all appreciate the irony in this.'

"Every time you lick your teeth, you taste your skeleton."

All kidding aside, let me explain why I get to call you Al, yet you have to call me Dr. Kapuchnik. It's simply because I'm a psychiatrist and you're a bum. It's nothing personal. Thanks for explaining. I feel better.

Joint Replacement Specialist has 3 boxes on desk: "Hip", "Hip", "Hooray."

"Next time you give CPR try not to use your tongue."

Cat Chores

"My goodness, your back is really knotted up this morning, isn't it?"

Sure you can twitter, but can you chirp, warble and trill?

Troop Therapy

"I think the first thing we need to do is talk about your diet!"

Spock visits the Orthopedics

"Gotta find more things to do, to distract me from all the things I have to do."

'I'm afraid there's not much I can do. You're an invertebrate.'

Guy hanging in dungeon to other: 'Are you sure this chiropractor is licensed?'

40 minutes in this position

"When I google myself, the only thing that comes up is my arrest record."

"The bird feeder is empty again."

"Hello there, Mulligan's pillows for better posture, let me leave you a brochure."

"Have you tried acupuncture. . .?"

Needle Toilet.

A man hugs a heart-shaped cactus

Experienced Acupuncture Wanted.

'Acupuncture is REALLY helping to control my appetite.'

"Laughter IS the best medicine, but not if you throw out your back doing it."

"I'd say that fall is just around the corner!"

'Practicing? Practicing what?'

"Junior, don't slouch!"

Parakeet Quarrels

Is there life after death?

"Are you Mr Grunzman, sir? I've got a registered letter for you, may I see your ID, sir? Sir? . . . I'm sorry, I've got to take this as a rejection, sir!"

Maybe it ain't so manly, like ya say, but this here stadium seat sure has saved my back.

'I'll bet that all the money they save on vegetables they put right back into chiropractors.'