Chinese Language Gifts

'If this machine isn't out of whack, reading is gong to be even harder than I expected.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

Campaign for Plain English

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Torturing the English Language

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

Thru versus Through Traffic

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

'Take a few days off. Suck some necks ...'

Punctuation Police

Backfire

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

Assault 'n' Vinegar

"We're looking for that perfect blend of vision, ambition and ethical ambiguity."

A Copy Editor and His Dog

The best financial decision I ever made.

What's normal?