Chinese Language Gifts

'If this machine isn't out of whack, reading is gong to be even harder than I expected.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

Campaign for Plain English

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

Thru versus Through Traffic

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

'Take a few days off. Suck some necks ...'

Assault 'n' Vinegar

Backfire

A Copy Editor and His Dog

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

Punctuation Police

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

The best financial decision I ever made.

"The new chairman has dropped the brain-storming meetings."

"Damn - another letter to the editor."