Mandarin Language Enthusiast Gifts

'And in business news, it's now official: Everything is made in China. Citizens are encouraged to learn Mandarin, as well as how to march.'

A Puppet Named Juan

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

Thru versus Through Traffic

I will study my speling words...

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Punctuation Police

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

Someone who knows apostrophes

Kid in class corrects teachers spelling.

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

'The Questioner'

Wok. Don't Wok.

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

Smith Academy. A Tradition of Excellense.

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."