Workforce Manager Gifts

This castle manager job better be for real.

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

"Force quit! Force quit! Force quit!!"

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

'Everyone in the company wears one, Yomp! It's what keeps us focused!'

Desk Boxes: 'In', 'Out', 'Could Go Either Way'.

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

Suggestions box in a toilet.

Deadline

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

Targets.

"It raises trust issues, Mr. Kranse, when your very first question is 'what's the catch?'."

"Let me put on my 'working' head."

Mentors guide you through the maze.

Meet the new factory manager.

"One day son, all this will be run by robots."

'The good news is that from now on I belong to a very rare species. There aren't many personnel managers who create their own pink slip.'

"HR think we need to look again at your recruitment strategy."

"Carl, let me start off by saying I'm prepared to give you the benefit of the doubt and treat you as a full-fledged human being."

'Henry has found his niche with us.'

Your resume says you were a waiter...

'You'll be broadening up your horizons in a cubicle.'

'Probably giving evidence at some sort of industrial tribunal....heh!'

Employer surrenders to case loads of workplace disputes and claims.

"I'm so happy to be back in the workforce I'll never complain out loud again about Mondays."

"If I've timed this right, symptoms should start at exactly 9 a.m. Monday."

"Misunderstood,overworked,underpaid and stressed, it's bound to lead to depression...still enough of my problems,what can I do for you?"

'This home based business is easy to set up. Everyone knows that women are better at multitasking.'

"I hope it indicates a quick promotion."

'Look on the bright side: now we qualify for an energy-conservation award.'

"If I'd known you were not looking for experience I wouldn't have lied on my CV."

'Salary requirement? -- Just keep me out of the top two percent.'

Tata: Goodbuy or Goodbye?