Workforce Manager Pillows

This castle manager job better be for real.

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

"Force quit! Force quit! Force quit!!"

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

'Everyone in the company wears one, Yomp! It's what keeps us focused!'

Desk Boxes: 'In', 'Out', 'Could Go Either Way'.

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

Suggestions box in a toilet.

Deadline

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

"It raises trust issues, Mr. Kranse, when your very first question is 'what's the catch?'."

Targets.

"Let me put on my 'working' head."

Mentors guide you through the maze.

Meet the new factory manager.

"One day son, all this will be run by robots."

"Carl, let me start off by saying I'm prepared to give you the benefit of the doubt and treat you as a full-fledged human being."

"I'm so happy to be back in the workforce I'll never complain out loud again about Mondays."

'Probably giving evidence at some sort of industrial tribunal....heh!'

"HR think we need to look again at your recruitment strategy."

'You'll be broadening up your horizons in a cubicle.'

'Henry has found his niche with us.'

'The good news is that from now on I belong to a very rare species. There aren't many personnel managers who create their own pink slip.'

Your resume says you were a waiter...

Employer surrenders to case loads of workplace disputes and claims.

"If I've timed this right, symptoms should start at exactly 9 a.m. Monday."

"Misunderstood,overworked,underpaid and stressed, it's bound to lead to depression...still enough of my problems,what can I do for you?"

'This home based business is easy to set up. Everyone knows that women are better at multitasking.'

'Look on the bright side: now we qualify for an energy-conservation award.'

"I hope it indicates a quick promotion."

"If I'd known you were not looking for experience I wouldn't have lied on my CV."

'Mr Smith, when we contracted you to headhunt the CEO of a multinational company...'

I'm willing to start at the bottom and work my way up to your job..