China Gifts

Antiques - Spode-u-like.

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

Where your mind & battle are los

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

Businesswoman Empowerment

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"My email is down... talk to me."