Life Gifts

At times every honest self-seeker has to face mainstream interference.

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

Ancient Landmarks of New York City

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

Welcome To New York City...Subject to the following conditions.

Wok. Don't Wok.

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

Crap from the future.

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

Weird things I do because of the internet

Apart from protest footage I forget what downtown looks like.

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

The city of San Francisco switches from cable cars to satellite dish at a cost of only $79.99 a month for the first six months.

No Immediate Danger

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"Did you get my tweet?"

Love linked

"I don't think those are authentic, either, bud."

City Boy.

Saxophone Player.

"You need to justify your own existence first."

"Manhatten Brooklyn Hoboken Long Island"

"I don't believe in you!"

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

Serenading

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"