Life Reviewer Gifts

'My whole life flashed before my eyes. I want to talk to the guy who did the editing.'

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

Reach for the Star.

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

"Life: play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, first love, brief happiness, breakup, regret, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, play, work, play, w

Life and Death

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

Book of Life, Answers in Back.

'Your life story?....why not, the world is in need of a few good laughs!'

'Thou shall not covet the neighbours same sex partner.'

Early Man Late Man

"If he didn't live each day like it was his last, he would have lived another 40 years."

'I wish I were your age again, and knew what I know now.'

Daily Routine

Highway of Life. Bump. Bump. Bump. Bump. Bump.

'Life is a precious thing, but simply breathing and existing isn't living...the end is inevitable for everything...I'm afraid that time has come for you, dear. I have to pull the plug...'

'Have you ever noticed that as you get older, your thin things get thicker and your thick things get thicker?'

'Hmmphhhh ... High on Life. Now that's something the government ought to regulate.'

'I can remember when paranoia was unusual.'

"I've got something in what used to be a decrepit, run-down, unfashionable area."

Desk at the Horizon

I've always said ignorance is bliss, but what do I know?

'I'm old, bald and fat, but at least I'm not boring!'

'I'm at the age when everything Mother Nature gave Father Time is taking away...'

'Dad, tell me again what life's about.'

"What's it all about?"

"Well, it's funny, Sid. Every time I've got onr foot in the grave, something interesting happens, so I pull it back out again!"

"Look at it this way - the more birthdays you have, the longer you live!"

Man calling Phone Privacy Centre

Life is about the chase, not the ball. Now go get it!

"When you say you love your life, should I be happy for you?"