Children's Tv Producer Gifts

guess who just signed a contract with sesame street.

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

Cut!

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

Applause

"And by president we mean the one on Saturday night tv, not the real one. He kinda sucks."

TV jester.

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

"Downton Abbey Road"

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."

Mary Tyler Moore: Spot the Difference

Somewhere in America... the day after "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" came to an end.

Senior Jeopardy!

"You haven't enjoyed the Yule log till you've enjoyed it in high def."

"I actually saw ten gay characters on television this week—which almost balanced out the 2,174 straight characters I saw."

'If I'd known these programs were going to be so fake - I'd be psychic!'

Next camera crew 5 mins

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

Police film evidence

It's not a bad planet -- Their talk shows make it seem a lot worse than it is.

'I love this street...it's so real man...'

'The following programme contains scones of a sexual nature.'

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

The following wildlife film is sponsored in part by a grant from...Mother Nature Foundation.

"True crime meets reality TV"

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."