Children's Television Writer Gifts

"... So it turns out that all we were doing was meddling with a delicate ecosystem."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

The Poky Little Pupa.

"Ever since you changed from a frog to a Prince you seem a little jumpy!"

"I've decided to cut out the middleman and self-publish."

Wolf to Red Riding Hood: 'No thanks, I'm on a strict grandmother diet.'

'Meet the author with her collaborators'

Hansel and Gretal

Tragedy, Comedy, 'Dramedy'

'It's another cookery programme but It's aimed at children.'

Ted Hughes

"Nostalgia is one helluva drug."

Sleepy Bunny

'She said she was made out of sugar and spice, so I bit her.'

'I expect 'Sesame Street has seen some new developments since I was your age?'

Hansel meets his biological mother.

TV Producers Workshop. The first goal of a series to avoid cancellation long enough to issue a DVD set. Get boxed before you get canned!

"Can I hear Goldilocks and the three hares?"

Child thinking pregnant mother looks like a Telly-Tubby.

"Your story is quite the booze-filled dive into the depths of depravity. Is this your first children's book?"

"....And the humans go, 'Blah, blah, blah'."

"And this little poet cried ennui, ennui, ennui, all the way home."

"No, Barbara, this wouldn't make a great 'Seinfeld' episode!"

"if you miss a payment, I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house down."

Goose escapes the tv.

"All the world's a sitcom and we are but the uncredited extras."

Bear Porridge

"You know, it's a picture book. Needless to say, it doesn't have a lot of narrative scope."

"You know what? I probably could have put Humpty Dumpty back together again but I was just too pissed."

Pastor of Muppets

"Say Cheshire Cheese."

"Yes, but what I really want to do is write children's books."

"We've voted you off the island."