Television Writer Gifts

"We've voted you off the island."

Write a Screenplay

'It'll be a tough cell.'

'They've gone overboard on this trend.'

'There's something I think you ought to know. I'm not a doctor but I play one on TV'

"Tonight's show will be a really good one. We've replaced seven of our writers, and added five more."

Goose escapes the tv.

Tragedy, Comedy, 'Dramedy'

"Let's just say things don't look good for you, Kimosabe!"

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"Bond James, Bond."

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Copycats

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Showbiz Awards

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."