Script Writer Gifts

Directors Chair and Others.

Monk on PC.

"Forget the reality in our reality shows. We need better scripts."

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

"It'll never work, Marcy - we come from two different worlds and yours doesn't have chairs."

2020 Productions Presents: The Walk

'We're calling it... 'World war zit!''

Tramp selling a manuscript.

Production team.

When business got slow in Hollywood, script consultant Herb Purvis made a surprisingly easy transition to the manufacturing sector of the economy.

"Sure, it's a little formulaic but I love it!"

"I enjoyed your script. Let me nap all day, ignore it for a while, and if I feel like I want attention, I'll get back to you."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Showbiz Awards

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

Herman Mankiewicz

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"Not to be a motion picture - will remain just a book'

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

'This should be perfect. The main characters fall in love during a series of explosions.'

Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"I need a little more drama like a ten part mini-series."

Stand-up Romcom

'Okay, folks, that's a wrap!'