Tv Writing Aficionado Gifts

"... but when the broadcasting company sent him $5,000 for his first script we laughed out of the other side of our mouths."

Herman Mankiewicz

Television Readers.

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

Love is when you watch television together.

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

Succession 2

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

'I can hold a match to his notebook.'

100 best beheadings

"It was your idea to install the TV dish on the church spire"

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

"He's an indoor cat."

'There's no such thing as 'ookawooka-itis' -- You have got to stop watching doctor shows!'

'Do you expect the jury to believe that? And, more importantly, do you expect the viewers of the eventual TV movie of this trial to believe it?'

Dip Pen

'Could you pass me my - oh thankyou.'

How the goat got square eyes.

“The two spaces after a period were a dead giveaway.”

How I met your mother

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

'We'll have to end it there, I'm sorry - we're running out of time.'

"To be honest, I'm leaving public service so I can make some real money as a talking head on a cable news network."

Mark Twain and Charles Dickens make a joint appearance on the lecture circuit

Couch and Potato

"I'm looking for a wife who likes to fish, go to the footy, play cards, watch TV, cook, drink and wash dirty socks."