Television Writer Prints

"We've voted you off the island."

Write a Screenplay

'There's something I think you ought to know. I'm not a doctor but I play one on TV'

"Tonight's show will be a really good one. We've replaced seven of our writers, and added five more."

Goose escapes the tv.

Tragedy, Comedy, 'Dramedy'

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Bond James, Bond."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Copycats

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Showbiz Awards

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."