Children's Books Gifts

"Wherever you go, there you are."

Children's Books for the New Era

Teacher Reading Book Upside-Down to Class.

"Celebrating St. Patrick's Day???..."

Bedtime Reading

'Charlotte's Website' ('The children's book classic rewritten for the electronic era!')

'You're going to ruin your eyes in this light!'

Alice in Wonderland - Father William.

A feminist Christmas.

'Some sort of theme restaurant, I presume.'

'I'm looking for something not too heavy.'

"Your story is quite the booze-filled dive into the depths of depravity. Is this your first children's book?"

That very night in Frank's office a forest grew.

Korney Ivanovich Chukovsky

The three p's: peeing, poohing, puking

The three pigs...House of bricks.

Kid to father about Peter Rabbit story: 'I like a book with a hoppy ending.'

'It must be a good one. He slept there all night.'

'Look, if you're not enjoying it, I'll read it myself.'

The Quack Quack Diaries - Quack Quack Gets Repossessed

Wynken, Blynken and Nod

'Looking back, I wish we hadn't removed that built-in wardrobe...'

'Why is it that there are so many bedtime stories about stupid princes and princesses, but no cool ones about zombies and chainsaws?'

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

Books: What Katy did, What Katy did next & Why Katie got an ASBO.

"No - wait, I haven't read them all yet..."

"Can you help me, Grandma? Grandpa says he doesn't give a 'rat's potootey' where Waldo is."

"All the Dr. Seuss books are currently out, but we do have a locum of work available by other qualified children's authors."

A Lice in Wonderland

Tall tales, short stories

"I think, therefore I can."

"I would like to be addressed as the calorifically challenged controller."

Fairy narratives

The New Dorothy. . .

"Don't we think we've had enough sir?"