Children's Literature Gifts

"Do you have any picture books that could help a child understand tort reform?"

Humpty Dumpty! Put on this helmet.

'He's got his head stuck in a book.'

'Bridges falling down, killer pumpkin eaters, blind mice with carving knives... I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!'

Alice in Responsibilityland

Alice in Wonderland - Alice Meets the Cheshire Cat.

First library card

"Please, Daddy, just one more conspiracy theory."

Banned Books

Unexpected Help for the Colonists at the Boston Tea Party

'On the face of it, it sounds great that she left me her house, but it has gone stale and what Hansel and Gretel didn't eat the birds have had a go at.'

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

'So, these three little mice are blind and the farmer's wife comes along and cuts off their tails with a carving knife? Who writes this suff, Stephen King?'

"Ah yes, 'The Three Little Pigs', a cautionary tale of insufficient real estate market analysis."

"Oh, now I remember you. You live in that big shoe on the corner."

Humpty dumpty, the wall and the banana peel.

'Yeah, yeah. Never mind about your hobbies. Are you a princess or not?'

'This was painted during the artist's Baloo period.'

"Son, it's time we talked about surveillance."

'I keep having this recurring nightmare, that when I get back from walking in the woods my porridge is too cold.'

"Not to be a killjoy, but this happened on our property. Are liable?"

Book signings by people vaguely connected to Harry Potter/JK Rowling.

Alice in Wonderland: The Mad Hatter Leaves the Court Room.

Alice in Wonderland: Alice finds a small door.

' 'Fairy Tales' by Hans Multifaith Andersen.'

Newspaper editor says to woman: 'Agnes, you review children's picture books �' please stop saying 'I read it in one sitting.''

'That's the last time I'll organise a picnic for that bunch of t*****s.'

"Any other refrences besides the Three Bears?"

The Very Thirsty Caterpillar

The Spreaders

Alice Through the Looking Glass - Alice and the Black Kitten.

'Why do all the people in the children's zone look like they are having more fun than us?'

Little Dutch Boy in an Hourglass

"My parents sent me- I don't like Harry Potter."

Rapunzel in the Morning