Child Reader Gifts

First library card

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

'Are you sure I should read my book report to the class? --�It's PG-13.'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

Boy and Bear and Monster

Monkey Curling Lion's Mane.

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

"I'm still pre-literate."

'Am I looking sad or happy in the appropriate places?'

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

"What you find 'boring' spies from all over the world would find extremely interesting."

Little boy reading a classic whilst his Dad reads a comic.

Baby's book is titled: 'Dummies for Dummies.'

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

"At least she's reading."

'I can't remember the title, but it began, 'Once upon a time'...'

'I'm pretty sleepy tonight, Dad - could we just skip ahead to the chase scene?'

"And thirteen innocent logs perished in that fire they used to burn Joan."

"So you can tweet. That's why you have to learn the alphabet."

"Did the cow that jumped over the moon have NASA funding?"

"What if my inner demons want to write about bunnies?"

Good boy

"How can back to back be your favourite position?"

"What I really want to do is chew up children’s books."

"It says here we should get a lodger."

'Books are okay, except they only get one channel.'

"Think about the perks. You learn to read, you get a pre-approved library card!"

"My wife, my best friend and our prenup!"

Zack Brillard and Live-In Companion

A shark is reading a book entitled 'Swimming with the lawyers'.

'Charlotte's web-cam'

They had the technology to rebuild him: The $ 6,000,000 egg.

"Any other refrences besides the Three Bears?"