Child Reaching Trouble Milestone Gifts

'I'm afraid releasing that information would not be in the public interest.'

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

'At lone at last.'

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

'Baby's first two-step.'

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

"We tried 'Baby Mozart,' but he prefers 'Baby John Cage.'"

One!

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

Sigh … They grow up so fast, don't they?

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

"We're hoping that someday Rosalie will be a major player in the creative economy."

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

"Wait! I don't want to be disease resistant!"

"Charles, look! He’s sending his first text!"

"Wait, so his first whole sentence was 'I don't want to work, I just want to bang on the drum all day'?!"

Eagle parenting.

'The man was real nice about it. He gave me my ball back and even said you can expect a nice call from his lawyer.'

Sparkler

Dominant hand reveal party

'His next appointment is on the 17th when the clock's little hand is on the two and the big one's on the nine.'

'Jimmy made his first blog post today.'

"Worthy of an Oscar don't you think?"

"They're secret service. They appeared the day Billy decided he wanted to be president when he grew up."

They were American tourists, visiting gay Paree...and yet this was a Mexican stand off??

'I bronzed his first pair of running shoes.'

"I'm too old for baby limas."

"Honey, your head's through the armhole again."

'My grandson has been walking from an early age. . . Oh yes, in fact, by the time he was two he'd been walking three years.'