Child's Musical Milestone Gifts

"We tried 'Baby Mozart,' but he prefers 'Baby John Cage.'"

"Wait, so his first whole sentence was 'I don't want to work, I just want to bang on the drum all day'?!"

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

"Sign my yearbook?"

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

'At lone at last.'

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

'Baby's first two-step.'

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

Mimi's final scene

"Wait! I don't want to be disease resistant!"

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

"We're hoping that someday Rosalie will be a major player in the creative economy."

Eagle parenting.

"Charles, look! He’s sending his first text!"

Sparkler

'His next appointment is on the 17th when the clock's little hand is on the two and the big one's on the nine.'

'I hate these purists who play Bach without any pedal'

'Jimmy made his first blog post today.'

'The baby cut a tooth today.'

"They're secret service. They appeared the day Billy decided he wanted to be president when he grew up."

"I'm too old for baby limas."

They were American tourists, visiting gay Paree...and yet this was a Mexican stand off??

'I bronzed his first pair of running shoes.'

"Honey, your head's through the armhole again."

'Yes, your son does ask questions in class but they're always 'Can I have the hall pass?'.'

"Do that again, but cuter."

Girl asking her little cousin what he would like for his birthday