Child-proof Opener Gifts

Pharmacist wanted. Must be able to open child-proof bottle caps & read doctor's prescriptions.

A young Don King

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

Interior design trends for parents....

Pool attached to child's bed.

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

Child about to jump off ironing board into bath.

Child using building blocks to get over a baby gate.

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Sitting Up'

His first conspiracy theory...'Is it a coincidence the first time I walk, they start locking all the cupboards? I think not!'

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

STRIP *Community Care * Squeezing it all in before lunch

Pets are not only good companions, they're good excuses.

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

Mobile phone damage to children.

Sailor notices a sea mine in his foot bath.

"The Johnsons finally get around to child-proofing their home."

'As a bachelor I have to wash my own clothes, clean my own room. The do it all again three months later.'

Wow, look what you've stepped in: Boy I'm glad I'm not the one having to lick it off...

'He swallowed a warning label!'

Code Red!

'Well those stair gates were a complete waste of money'

'Is your house baby-proofed?'

"Why are you playing hide-and-seek in the stove!?! Don't shush me! This is my stove!"

A man opens his curtains to wake up his cats.

Health and Safety Gone Mad - "It doesn't look safe, his face is totally exposed to danger."

"It's been redacted for security reasons."

'They're a bit pricey, but on the other hand, I don't have to buy any baby gates.'

Don't Touch Its Burnies.