Child-proof Opener T-Shirts

Pharmacist wanted. Must be able to open child-proof bottle caps & read doctor's prescriptions.

A young Don King

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

Interior design trends for parents....

Pool attached to child's bed.

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

Child about to jump off ironing board into bath.

Well, we thought we had childproofed the house

Child using building blocks to get over a baby gate.

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Sitting Up'

His first conspiracy theory...'Is it a coincidence the first time I walk, they start locking all the cupboards? I think not!'

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

'They made it like that so the kids wouldn't bother you.'

STRIP *Community Care * Squeezing it all in before lunch

Pets are not only good companions, they're good excuses.

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

Mobile phone damage to children.

'As a bachelor I have to wash my own clothes, clean my own room. The do it all again three months later.'

"The Johnsons finally get around to child-proofing their home."

Sailor notices a sea mine in his foot bath.

Wow, look what you've stepped in: Boy I'm glad I'm not the one having to lick it off...

'He swallowed a warning label!'

Code Red!

'Well those stair gates were a complete waste of money'

There's leftover apple crisp! Whoever finishes it up, please clean the baking dish. Hey! It's not finished!!

'Is your house baby-proofed?'

A man opens his curtains to wake up his cats.

"Why are you playing hide-and-seek in the stove!?! Don't shush me! This is my stove!"

Health and Safety Gone Mad - "It doesn't look safe, his face is totally exposed to danger."

'They're a bit pricey, but on the other hand, I don't have to buy any baby gates.'

"Mom is an ER nurse."