Chemical Sleuth T-Shirts

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

Methyl Iodide use.

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

$1: Family Secrets

"Look, Professor - a stegosaurus!"

'Have you no common scents?!'

"Excuse me, Professor. I think I might have spotted a flaw in your theory!"

Roentgen tries to figure out what he's discovered.

"I need to self isolate. . . but I thought I'd better come in and see you first!"

'The dog ate my homework -- I thought maybe you could X-ray him.'

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

"Do you smell something?"

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

"Perkins! What have you gone and done now...??"

'What an execrable day. I got drenched in a Wiki leak and buried in a document dump.'

"I'm in my third day of trying to figure out which little square I am."

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

"Essentially Wilkins proves things and Brenner disproves them."

Medical Library - Large books with really revolting photographs

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

Undercover Biophysicists

Newton's Law and Order.

GM Crops Genie.

'It's for the girl who's in a hurry.'

"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."

The Modern Godot

'Hey, it's that peeping Tom again, the one who has no respect for privacy.'

Galileo describes his discoveries to the church (and gets hit over the head by the bishop/pope with the telescope that he made the discoveries with).

The Animal Researcher Reports...'I've been watching this herd of cattle for seven years, and to be frank, I haven't seen them do anything yet!'

'Okay - Let's crash that bad boy.'

Schrodingers cat at the vets

Uncle Sam is Big Brother.

'She didn't notice it was a wolf and not her grandma?? Had grandma never heard of electrolysis??'

'(Sniff!)... Hey! Somebody stole my identity!'