Chef's Chuckle Gifts

'Uh-Oh... I better watch my legs! There comes a cook - o - dile!'

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

Amy Sedaris

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

"Do we really need the interactive garbage disposer?"

'Needs more kale.'

"This IS a chicken fried steak!"

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

Three Pigs.

"I've been a chef for far too long...."

'The items with the little hearts will clog your arteries the fastest.'

'This mandarin chicken is delicious, Dad. It tastes like you bought it yourself.'

"Tonight I'm making spotted bass. Tomorrow night, spotted spaghetti."

"For supper tonight, we'll have pizza, and cold pizza for dessert."

Noodle exchange program.

'Alphabet soup? -- oh, an intellectual, eh?'

Mixing Business and Pleasure

'What do you mean, I get a reprieve from my wife's cooking? My wife is a cook here at the hospital.'

Roger wouldn't prepare any meal without first consulting his pie chart.

'I saw my trainer eating here, and that's good enough for me.'

Boiling Point

"Yes sir, this is half a steak. The guest who had it yesterday wasn't very hungry."

"Tia Carmen, did you ever use a stool to cook?"

"I heard we're now legal in some states."

"So you hired them to do the tidying up?"

"But we had stir-fry last night and the night before."

... Harold at the stomach pump.

At The Skinny Customer Restaurant

"Richard's not a foodie - he's a boozie."

Waiter says to customer: 'Yes sir, that is the seafood platter. If you wanted something on it you should have said.'

Police Crime Scene tin can.

Escaping Egg