Chef Humor Gifts

Three Pigs.

It turns out they don't go together so well,

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

'I don't think that's what they mean by reducing the wine.'

"Do we really need the interactive garbage disposer?"

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

'Needs more kale.'

'Waiter! -- there's a candidate in my soup!'

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

'Hello, Ebeneezer! It's me - the ghost of coming dinner!'

Alphabet soup

Luigi's Career Change From Pizza Shop Owner to Masseuse Goes Smoothly...

"This IS a chicken fried steak!"

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

"Before I serve you dinner, it was in the chicken's last wishes that you watch his video will."

"I've been a chef for far too long...."

Great Moments in Culinary History.

'Our five-course dinners start with denial, followed by anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance.'

"Much of his cooking suffers from burn-out."

"For supper tonight, we'll have pizza, and cold pizza for dessert."

'The two things you cook best are meatloaf and apple pie!... Which one is this?'

"Tonight I'm making spotted bass. Tomorrow night, spotted spaghetti."

Sun Dried Ice Cubes

Noodle exchange program.

Intolerant Chef

'This is not Hungarian stew. Sorry, the butcher ran out of Hungarians.'

'... we've got a crowd of, oh I'd say fourteen million organisms here for the annual 'Salmonella potato salad bowl'!'

Commie Chef.

'I saw my trainer eating here, and that's good enough for me.'

"He's Britains most eligible Spatula."