Humor Chef Gifts

"Tia Carmen, did you ever use a stool to cook?"

It turns out they don't go together so well,

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

'I don't think that's what they mean by reducing the wine.'

"Do we really need the interactive garbage disposer?"

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

'Needs more kale.'

'Waiter! -- there's a candidate in my soup!'

"This IS a chicken fried steak!"

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

'Hello, Ebeneezer! It's me - the ghost of coming dinner!'

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

Alphabet soup

Luigi's Career Change From Pizza Shop Owner to Masseuse Goes Smoothly...

"Before I serve you dinner, it was in the chicken's last wishes that you watch his video will."

Three Pigs.

"I've been a chef for far too long...."

Chef: 'Howz that Octopus coming along Jeff?'

Great Moments in Culinary History.

'Our five-course dinners start with denial, followed by anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance.'

'Chef told me I had to have guard before I used the mixer!'

"Tonight I'm making spotted bass. Tomorrow night, spotted spaghetti."

"For supper tonight, we'll have pizza, and cold pizza for dessert."

'The two things you cook best are meatloaf and apple pie!... Which one is this?'

"Much of his cooking suffers from burn-out."

Sun Dried Ice Cubes

Noodle exchange program.

Intolerant Chef

'This is not Hungarian stew. Sorry, the butcher ran out of Hungarians.'

"Oh, how nice. You're just in time to cut the vegetables,"

'... we've got a crowd of, oh I'd say fourteen million organisms here for the annual 'Salmonella potato salad bowl'!'