Cheeky Vacationer Gifts

Sorry, I'm too ill to come in today. More medicine please, nurse.

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

"We've invented a new word!"

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

'I don't think my homework is very good. My dog refused to eat it.'

Climate change

"Hey! I've got audio but no visual!"

A proctologist by trade, Bob liked to spend his weekends out in nature.

'Listen up troop. We're going on a treasure hunt.'

'God, quick! Give me the gift of the gab.'

"Blame the scientists who are teaching me sign-language Mum: It's not my fault if it's easier to learn the rude signs..."

Newton's vacation

"Did you pack your own bags?"

'A lab had me smoking cigarettes for months. I'm living off my disability payments. You?'

English Summer: Man in a tanning bed on the beach in the middle of a storm.

"Relax, Marge! I'm sure the folks at 'Ultimate Pirate Adventures'. . ."

Sticking out tongue

"As the owner of a hotel chain, I found being shipwrecked quite a challenge."

'If you're coming on this road trip the sign stays'

'The arrows were more practical,,,,but I found these have a higher success rate,'

Nude Beach/Perv Bluff

A sign hangs from the front of the Sunnyvale Nudist Camp - 'Join Today - 100% Off!'

'I'd like to time my vacation to when my mate is in heat.'

'Next time, we set up camp during high tide.'

'He became an enthusiastic silver surger when he discovered there are nude ladies on the internet.'

"Your dump or mine..?"

"Well, I don't consider it a tattoo. I consider it a monogram."

Footballer scores for the first time and wears T-Shirt reading: 'No longer a virgin.'

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

'Big Issue!'

"Wanna chill at my place?"

Having noticed a hot-looking security woman, Mort quickly penned a note and stuck it in his briefcase.

Boy about to poke a man from behid with a stick after having seen a pantomime

"I should've known better than to AirBNB from a bird."