Cheeky Escapist Gifts

'Yes we are married, but not to each other.'

Bernhard was ready for the streaking opportunity he had always dreamed of.

"And then, when I feel like a rum punch and breaded shrimp, I can just swim to Tony’s Trattoria."

Cake Escape

"We've invented a new word!"

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

'Listen up troop. We're going on a treasure hunt.'

'God, quick! Give me the gift of the gab.'

Sticking out tongue

'The arrows were more practical,,,,but I found these have a higher success rate,'

"This is highly confidential, so, yes, we built a little fort."

Boy about to poke a man from behid with a stick after having seen a pantomime

'He became an enthusiastic silver surger when he discovered there are nude ladies on the internet.'

Fish get smart.

5,- euro and I'll show you how to hustle 5,- Euro from a doofus!!"

'Look out for the park ranger while Bernie and I chop us some firewood!'

"For last meal, I'm thinking unlimited breadsticks, endless shrimp and bottomless coffee."

"When it comes to hide and seek I think this might be cheating."

'I can't come to work today. I'm in bed with a nasty, little bug.'

Man escaping from his scolding wife by inhaling ether

"Above the ceiling is plenty of duct space, a perfect hideout for when the in-laws visit."

Sorry, I'm too ill to come in today. More medicine please, nurse.

"He's offered to show me the breast stroke - tonight in his water bed!"

"Fishing and doing nothing are not incompatible."

(anteater sticking its tongue at passers-by)

'I thought I'd copy my C.V. while the boss is out of the office!'

'My first day? I got to meet with the principal one on one.'

"I'm using a fake background, no one knows I'm the litter box."

Dog urinating on a tombstone that says 'I WON'.

'And for the sports minded. . . there's the £100 trip up to my flat.'

"Have you seen Joey?"

"...and then there's the small matter of that ball you planted on the fourth green."

'I can't talk. Sanctions are in effect.'

"You can be a right stirrer sometimes!"

'I hate to ask this on my first day... but can you loan me about 650.00?'