Cheeky Escapist Gifts

'Yes we are married, but not to each other.'

Bernhard was ready for the streaking opportunity he had always dreamed of.

"And then, when I feel like a rum punch and breaded shrimp, I can just swim to Tony’s Trattoria."

Cake Escape

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

"We've invented a new word!"

'Listen up troop. We're going on a treasure hunt.'

'God, quick! Give me the gift of the gab.'

Sticking out tongue

'The arrows were more practical,,,,but I found these have a higher success rate,'

"This is highly confidential, so, yes, we built a little fort."

Boy about to poke a man from behid with a stick after having seen a pantomime

'He became an enthusiastic silver surger when he discovered there are nude ladies on the internet.'

Fish get smart.

"Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach him how to fish and he can avoid work his whole life."

'Look out for the park ranger while Bernie and I chop us some firewood!'

'I can't come to work today. I'm in bed with a nasty, little bug.'

"When it comes to hide and seek I think this might be cheating."

"For last meal, I'm thinking unlimited breadsticks, endless shrimp and bottomless coffee."

5,- euro and I'll show you how to hustle 5,- Euro from a doofus!!"

Man escaping from his scolding wife by inhaling ether

(anteater sticking its tongue at passers-by)

"Fishing and doing nothing are not incompatible."

Sorry, I'm too ill to come in today. More medicine please, nurse.

"He's offered to show me the breast stroke - tonight in his water bed!"

'I thought I'd copy my C.V. while the boss is out of the office!'

"Above the ceiling is plenty of duct space, a perfect hideout for when the in-laws visit."

'My first day? I got to meet with the principal one on one.'

"I'm using a fake background, no one knows I'm the litter box."

"You can be a right stirrer sometimes!"

"Have you seen Joey?"

Dog urinating on a tombstone that says 'I WON'.

'And for the sports minded. . . there's the £100 trip up to my flat.'

'I can't talk. Sanctions are in effect.'

"...and then there's the small matter of that ball you planted on the fourth green."