Cheeky Gift Givers Pillows

'... And you'd better bring what you've promised me, because my Dad's a lawyer!'

"Oh, yes, I've been good...relatively speaking!"

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Mighty Man Of Justice Goes Christmas Shopping Part 1

Easter Island Cheeseheads

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

"And at no extra charge I can give your old suit a Viking funeral."

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

'Oh, we have an excellent benefits package ??" major medical, dental plan, vacation, retirement, nude encounter sessions....'

A baby using a heavy duty drill

I'm worried about Uncle Mort. He's still in jail for refusing to reveal his secret source? Not just that. It's his relationship with Sadie. I feel like … What? She says she wants him back, but I'm not sure. Why would you say something like that? Your sweetie made you a saw with a cake in it. Oooh.

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

'We may need to remove your spleen because it might not be doing whatever it is the spleen does.'

My therapist cured me of using humour as a defense...these days I pack a .45.

"Recycled, Wayne, we'd prefer 'recycled'."

"I asked for a bottle of something that would make men drool over me. This is bourbon."

"It's not a moustache kiddo: It's nasal hair..."

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

'Darling, I want you to have this lock of my hair to remind you how much I love you.'

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

WC problem.

Cow Christmas anxiety dreams!

The Doll's afternoon tea party had taken an unexpected ad dramatic turn.

"Looks like you both suffer from IBS. You...irritable bowel. Your friend...irritable burl."

Sorry about the odor --- Phone booths have gone out of style so I had to change in a dumpster.

Quicksand Swamp - Cheap Burial Plots.

Rent-a-Drama: "How many tweens will you need for your event?"

'You did want him wrapped, didn't you?'

Frankenstein's Monster receiving birthday present.

"The party was a total surprise! Everybody jumped out and screamed 'Happy Birthday' just as I was licking my balls!"

'Nothing from the Nobel Committee or the National Endowment for the Arts, but 'Joe' wants you to write some napkins for his bar.'

A sheep, a humming bird and a beetle - 'Baa, hum, bug'

'Joey, I know how fast you are, but this guy's a special problem.'