Cheeky Gift Givers Pillows

'... And you'd better bring what you've promised me, because my Dad's a lawyer!'

"Oh, yes, I've been good...relatively speaking!"

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

Easter Island Cheeseheads

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

"And at no extra charge I can give your old suit a Viking funeral."

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

'Oh, we have an excellent benefits package ??" major medical, dental plan, vacation, retirement, nude encounter sessions....'

A baby using a heavy duty drill

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

'We may need to remove your spleen because it might not be doing whatever it is the spleen does.'

My therapist cured me of using humour as a defense...these days I pack a .45.

"It's not a moustache kiddo: It's nasal hair..."

"Recycled, Wayne, we'd prefer 'recycled'."

'Darling, I want you to have this lock of my hair to remind you how much I love you.'

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

WC problem.

'Nothing from the Nobel Committee or the National Endowment for the Arts, but 'Joe' wants you to write some napkins for his bar.'

Frankenstein's Monster receiving birthday present.

"Looks like you both suffer from IBS. You...irritable bowel. Your friend...irritable burl."

Rent-a-Drama: "How many tweens will you need for your event?"

"The party was a total surprise! Everybody jumped out and screamed 'Happy Birthday' just as I was licking my balls!"

Cow Christmas anxiety dreams!

The Doll's afternoon tea party had taken an unexpected ad dramatic turn.

Quicksand Swamp - Cheap Burial Plots.

'You did want him wrapped, didn't you?'

A sheep, a humming bird and a beetle - 'Baa, hum, bug'

'Joey, I know how fast you are, but this guy's a special problem.'