Cheeky Creative Pillows

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"Mom, no raking for me this fall! Got any more leaf bags?"

'I don't think my homework is very good. My dog refused to eat it.'

"Blame the scientists who are teaching me sign-language Mum: It's not my fault if it's easier to learn the rude signs..."

Child praying - asks god to bless his family and the new motorbike he's bought with his father's credit card.

Sticking out tongue

Man visits palm reader with 'Doing Anything Tonight?' written on his hands.

'Oxygen with that swimsuit ma'am?'

'The arrows were more practical,,,,but I found these have a higher success rate,'

Having noticed a hot-looking security woman, Mort quickly penned a note and stuck it in his briefcase.

Footballer scores for the first time and wears T-Shirt reading: 'No longer a virgin.'

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

'Big Issue!'

"Your dump or mine..?"

Thong World.

Hot pink (and purple) monkey love!

'I would appreciate it if you don't call out in class.'

'Hello Darling, I am on the bed with the window cleaner.'

"When it comes to hide and seek I think this might be cheating."

'Look what I found, Dad - Can I keep her?'

'Just think of it as graphic design, Mom.'

"Hey! Are you staring at my assets?!"

'Do I have anything to say before you pass sentence? Yes, but you go first. My remarks depend on what the sentence is.'

'Sorry, I'm not available. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you.'

'For God's sake, Ellie, we're vegetarian.'

"He's offered to show me the breast stroke - tonight in his water bed!"

'I want some lessons in back seat driving.'

Clean Fill Wanted

How very Hampstead!

"I always put my assignments at the bottom of the pile, so by the time she gets to it, she'll be too tired to catch all the mistakes."

"By breaking the seal on this dress, you accept the terms and conditions printed on my panties."

'Have you a moment sir?...A: Yes; B: No; or C: Naff off?'

Rat with a suggestion for a messy kitchen.

"I don't want to be empowered - I want to be sassy."