Cheeky Couple Pillows

Classic SM.

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

Cat Towels

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"I guess opposites do attract. She's a real shaker, and he's such a grind."

Advanced footsie

Inappropriate Snowmen

A Prickly Pair

'Don't blame me -- You're the one who had to have more personal space!'

"Being with you is just getting too surreal for me, Larry."

'I don't think my homework is very good. My dog refused to eat it.'

'We met through a radiocarbon dating service.'

It says they're 120 million years old, enjoyed long walks along the tar pit, and loved nibbling on rodents together. Carbon-dating.com

'Sure, but will you still love me when I bite off your head and eat it?'

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

'Would it make a difference if I told you I was listening to book on audio?'

Prison Romance.

"Well, at first I didn't like him. But then his creepiness just grew on me."

'Here's one I made earlier.'

"Blame the scientists who are teaching me sign-language Mum: It's not my fault if it's easier to learn the rude signs..."

'Who has the rings and prenup?'

"It's General Douglas MacArthur."

"Don't tell him anything."

'Silly thing, of course I still find you repulsive.'

Sticking out tongue

"Ahh, bless him. He's run out of bird feed for our little Blue Tits."

'Isn't it romantic, being married in the same alley where we first met eight months ago?'

'Certainly you may come in for a drink. You live here.'

'Quick, act like a dog. My friend just busted us.'

'SAME SOCKS BAR.'

"I get that you're cold, but does he also have to eat all our meals with us?"

Cupid

'...And an extra packet of crackers! It's our Anniversary!'

'I know you love her and want to protect her. But it's wrong to laminate her.'

Lovers' Leap