Cheeky Romantic Pillows

"Well, well, well! If it isn't hanky and panky!"

In every port a portal

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

'I don't think my homework is very good. My dog refused to eat it.'

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

Sticking out tongue

"I'm raven mad about you."

Man visits palm reader with 'Doing Anything Tonight?' written on his hands.

'The arrows were more practical,,,,but I found these have a higher success rate,'

"Sorry, these are saved."

"Your dump or mine..?"

"Hey-look, honey! We screwed our tails off!"

Footballer scores for the first time and wears T-Shirt reading: 'No longer a virgin.'

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

Hot pink (and purple) monkey love!

'Hello Darling, I am on the bed with the window cleaner.'

'Just think of it as graphic design, Mom.'

"For last meal, I'm thinking unlimited breadsticks, endless shrimp and bottomless coffee."

'Rudolph! Now I know the secret of your bright and shiny nose!'

'The Businessman's Lunch won't cut it, hon. We want the Businessman's Orgy!'

Before the smart phone there was the smart mouth.

"Oh, baby, hot caramel? You're going to dip me in hot caramel? I'll be right over."

'Look what I found, Dad - Can I keep her?'

Let's play hide-the-sausage!

"He's offered to show me the breast stroke - tonight in his water bed!"

"Yes Mildred, I'm washing the dishes now."

Clean Fill Wanted

'The lads are hoping you'll get time off for good behaviour - say next Tuesday fortnight at the Red Lion....'

How very Hampstead!

Sorry, I'm too ill to come in today. More medicine please, nurse.

'You only want to do it when people are watching.'

'You know, I'm very attracted to you.'