Cheeky Romantic Gifts

"Well, well, well! If it isn't hanky and panky!"

In every port a portal

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

'I don't think my homework is very good. My dog refused to eat it.'

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

"I'm raven mad about you."

Man visits palm reader with 'Doing Anything Tonight?' written on his hands.

Sticking out tongue

'The arrows were more practical,,,,but I found these have a higher success rate,'

"Hey-look, honey! We screwed our tails off!"

Having noticed a hot-looking security woman, Mort quickly penned a note and stuck it in his briefcase.

"Sorry, these are saved."

'Big Issue!'

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

Hot pink (and purple) monkey love!

Footballer scores for the first time and wears T-Shirt reading: 'No longer a virgin.'

"Your dump or mine..?"

'Hello Darling, I am on the bed with the window cleaner.'

"Oh, baby, hot caramel? You're going to dip me in hot caramel? I'll be right over."

'Just think of it as graphic design, Mom.'

"For last meal, I'm thinking unlimited breadsticks, endless shrimp and bottomless coffee."

Before the smart phone there was the smart mouth.

'I'm not a wine snob. You're a wine ignoramus.'

'Rudolph! Now I know the secret of your bright and shiny nose!'

'Look what I found, Dad - Can I keep her?'

'The Businessman's Lunch won't cut it, hon. We want the Businessman's Orgy!'

"Fancy a bit of the other what, Reg?"

"He's offered to show me the breast stroke - tonight in his water bed!"

Clean Fill Wanted

'The lads are hoping you'll get time off for good behaviour - say next Tuesday fortnight at the Red Lion....'

Let's play hide-the-sausage!

"Yes Mildred, I'm washing the dishes now."

'You only want to do it when people are watching.'