Cheeky Collaborators Pillows

"I think of you as my academic wingman."

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

'Jenkins, about these coffee breaks of yours...'

"Blame the scientists who are teaching me sign-language Mum: It's not my fault if it's easier to learn the rude signs..."

Man visits palm reader with 'Doing Anything Tonight?' written on his hands.

Justice for a heckler.

"Thanks for my pocket money Dad. But you forgot to add 17.5% VAT."

Poking gentle fun at the company in the blog wasn't meant to include saying that the chief exec had a face like a baboons bottom.

"Lots of people have writing partners..."

Hot pink (and purple) monkey love!

Before the smart phone there was the smart mouth.

"For last meal, I'm thinking unlimited breadsticks, endless shrimp and bottomless coffee."

"Bring me a tit, and make it snappy."

"When it comes to hide and seek I think this might be cheating."

"Hey! Are you staring at my assets?!"

'Just think of it as graphic design, Mom.'

'What do you mean there's no specific rule that forbids a center fielder from doing that?'

Athletes doing hurdles, short athlete has vaulting pole.

Classic SM.

"Yes Mildred, I'm washing the dishes now."

'Sorry, I'm not available. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you.'

"We lost Mr. Speak No Evil when he became a blogger."

'Physicists talking dirty'

'Well, there's plague in town, everyone will believe you if you pull a sickie...'

"I can't eat anything spicy."

Cat's busy calendar

'I'm hoping to get a rise from my boss.'

"You can be a right stirrer sometimes!"

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere."

"I don't want to be empowered - I want to be sassy."

How to distract your opposition on the golf course (farting).

'I hate to ask this on my first day... but can you loan me about 650.00?'

Chastity Belts in the Garden of Eden

"So baby, how about coming back to mine for a quick roll in the shit?"

Clean My Litter Box!