Cheeky Collaborators Gifts

"I think of you as my academic wingman."

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

'Jenkins, about these coffee breaks of yours...'

"Blame the scientists who are teaching me sign-language Mum: It's not my fault if it's easier to learn the rude signs..."

Man visits palm reader with 'Doing Anything Tonight?' written on his hands.

Justice for a heckler.

"Thanks for my pocket money Dad. But you forgot to add 17.5% VAT."

Poking gentle fun at the company in the blog wasn't meant to include saying that the chief exec had a face like a baboons bottom.

Hot pink (and purple) monkey love!

"Lots of people have writing partners..."

"For last meal, I'm thinking unlimited breadsticks, endless shrimp and bottomless coffee."

Before the smart phone there was the smart mouth.

'Just think of it as graphic design, Mom.'

"Hey! Are you staring at my assets?!"

"Bring me a tit, and make it snappy."

"When it comes to hide and seek I think this might be cheating."

'What do you mean there's no specific rule that forbids a center fielder from doing that?'

"Yes Mildred, I'm washing the dishes now."

Athletes doing hurdles, short athlete has vaulting pole.

"We lost Mr. Speak No Evil when he became a blogger."

Classic SM.

'Sorry, I'm not available. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you.'

'Well, there's plague in town, everyone will believe you if you pull a sickie...'

'Physicists talking dirty'

"I can't eat anything spicy."

"You can be a right stirrer sometimes!"

Cat's busy calendar

'I'm hoping to get a rise from my boss.'

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere."

"I don't want to be empowered - I want to be sassy."

How to distract your opposition on the golf course (farting).

'I hate to ask this on my first day... but can you loan me about 650.00?'

Chastity Belts in the Garden of Eden

"So baby, how about coming back to mine for a quick roll in the shit?"

Clean My Litter Box!