Cheeky Cherubs Pillows

'I won't be frittering my bonus away on booze and stuff.' ... 'I'll drink to that.'

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"Seriously, just pull my finger ..."

'No spell-check?? And you call this HEAVEN??'

'I don't think my homework is very good. My dog refused to eat it.'

'Listen up troop. We're going on a treasure hunt.'

'How do people without a middle name know when the're in trouble?'

"She's about to get him on the rebound."

Sticking out tongue

Garden sprinkler in the form of a classical statue

Man visits palm reader with 'Doing Anything Tonight?' written on his hands.

Hen Night

'An they have the nerve to call this heaven!'

'It's got worse than just the occasional sploosh from a wine box, hasn't it?'

"Your dump or mine..?"

'Don't worry about a thing, my Mom doesn't believe in spanking.'

Footballer scores for the first time and wears T-Shirt reading: 'No longer a virgin.'

'He became an enthusiastic silver surger when he discovered there are nude ladies on the internet.'

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

'Big Issue!'

Having noticed a hot-looking security woman, Mort quickly penned a note and stuck it in his briefcase.

Hot pink (and purple) monkey love!

Invent Sales Day

'I guess you two won't be reading the Kama Sutra again.'

'My dad is a CEO - don't trust him!'

A dog brings a cherub to their owner

'Dinner was taking too long, so I just went ahead and ordered pizza.'

"For last meal, I'm thinking unlimited breadsticks, endless shrimp and bottomless coffee."

'Look what I found, Dad - Can I keep her?'

"How about after nightime meds you come to my room for some Netflix and chill."

Clean Fill Wanted

'The lads are hoping you'll get time off for good behaviour - say next Tuesday fortnight at the Red Lion....'

"You should only believe half of what I tell you."

"By breaking the seal on this dress, you accept the terms and conditions printed on my panties."

'Have you a moment sir?...A: Yes; B: No; or C: Naff off?'