Cheeky Cherubs Pillows

'I won't be frittering my bonus away on booze and stuff.' ... 'I'll drink to that.'

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"Seriously, just pull my finger ..."

'No spell-check?? And you call this HEAVEN??'

'I don't think my homework is very good. My dog refused to eat it.'

'Listen up troop. We're going on a treasure hunt.'

'How do people without a middle name know when the're in trouble?'

Garden sprinkler in the form of a classical statue

Sticking out tongue

"She's about to get him on the rebound."

Man visits palm reader with 'Doing Anything Tonight?' written on his hands.

Hen Night

'An they have the nerve to call this heaven!'

'It's got worse than just the occasional sploosh from a wine box, hasn't it?'

'Don't worry about a thing, my Mom doesn't believe in spanking.'

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

Footballer scores for the first time and wears T-Shirt reading: 'No longer a virgin.'

'He became an enthusiastic silver surger when he discovered there are nude ladies on the internet.'

Hot pink (and purple) monkey love!

"Your dump or mine..?"

'I guess you two won't be reading the Kama Sutra again.'

'Look what I found, Dad - Can I keep her?'

A dog brings a cherub to their owner

"For last meal, I'm thinking unlimited breadsticks, endless shrimp and bottomless coffee."

"How about after nightime meds you come to my room for some Netflix and chill."

'My dad is a CEO - don't trust him!'

'Dinner was taking too long, so I just went ahead and ordered pizza.'

"You should only believe half of what I tell you."

Clean Fill Wanted

'The lads are hoping you'll get time off for good behaviour - say next Tuesday fortnight at the Red Lion....'

"By breaking the seal on this dress, you accept the terms and conditions printed on my panties."

'Have you a moment sir?...A: Yes; B: No; or C: Naff off?'

"You can be a right stirrer sometimes!"