Cheeky Celebrator Pillows

Sexy Christmas.

Man toasting man: 'To our health insurers.'

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

Bubbly

'I don't think my homework is very good. My dog refused to eat it.'

This year Mike decides to make his own Valentine's cards.

“Look! We’re on the naked cam!”

"Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Fred, Sam, Brian, John, Walter, Jeff...."

Celebrate National Submarine Day.

Sticking out tongue

"Happy new year!"

Justice for a heckler.

"Have you ever licked cream off a woman's body?"

Poking gentle fun at the company in the blog wasn't meant to include saying that the chief exec had a face like a baboons bottom.

Having noticed a hot-looking security woman, Mort quickly penned a note and stuck it in his briefcase.

'Big Issue!'

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

The wedding.

Footballer scores for the first time and wears T-Shirt reading: 'No longer a virgin.'

"Your dump or mine..?"

"This is one time of year we count our blessings. . . and not our calories."

'I can't come to work today. I'm in bed with a nasty, little bug.'

Easter Island

'Look what I found, Dad - Can I keep her?'

'The spare sack? After a million warm beers and pieces of fruit cake...you'd have a spare sack too!'

Football Fantasies

'He drinks to forget and today it's our wedding anniversary.'

Clean Fill Wanted

"Picture this: it's my birthday, my mistress comes towards me with a cake and then, she sets it alight! I was so scared I've been feral ever since!"

Castaways at Christmas

"We lost Mr. Speak No Evil when he became a blogger."

'Here. Drink this till I'm hot.'

"It's OK, darling - Granny's crying happy tears."

"By breaking the seal on this dress, you accept the terms and conditions printed on my panties."

'Have you a moment sir?...A: Yes; B: No; or C: Naff off?'