Cheeky Celebrant Pillows

St. Patricks Day Burlesque

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

Bubbly

"We've invented a new word!"

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

'I don't think my homework is very good. My dog refused to eat it.'

“Look! We’re on the naked cam!”

Celebrate National Submarine Day.

Sticking out tongue

"Happy new year!"

'The arrows were more practical,,,,but I found these have a higher success rate,'

Justice for a heckler.

Poking gentle fun at the company in the blog wasn't meant to include saying that the chief exec had a face like a baboons bottom.

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

Footballer scores for the first time and wears T-Shirt reading: 'No longer a virgin.'

The wedding.

"Your dump or mine..?"

"This is one time of year we count our blessings. . . and not our calories."

'I can't come to work today. I'm in bed with a nasty, little bug.'

5,- euro and I'll show you how to hustle 5,- Euro from a doofus!!"

'Look what I found, Dad - Can I keep her?'

'Rudolph! Now I know the secret of your bright and shiny nose!'

"When it comes to hide and seek I think this might be cheating."

'Man, the next hangover will kill me for sure... that's why I've decided to be drunk 24 hours a day!'

'The spare sack? After a million warm beers and pieces of fruit cake...you'd have a spare sack too!'

"Picture this: it's my birthday, my mistress comes towards me with a cake and then, she sets it alight! I was so scared I've been feral ever since!"

(anteater sticking its tongue at passers-by)

Castaways at Christmas

"It's OK, darling - Granny's crying happy tears."

"We lost Mr. Speak No Evil when he became a blogger."

Clean Fill Wanted

"He's offered to show me the breast stroke - tonight in his water bed!"

"By breaking the seal on this dress, you accept the terms and conditions printed on my panties."

'Have you a moment sir?...A: Yes; B: No; or C: Naff off?'