Quirky Celebrator Pillows

'This year I did it the other way around...I first celebrated the New Year and then Christmas...Nobody noticed.'

'Santa has swine flu - Happy Easter.'

"Happy new year!"

Bubbly

The devil you know and his plus one

Peel poker.

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

"Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Fred, Sam, Brian, John, Walter, Jeff...."

'I'm not very good at mingling.'

"Dammit, Hopkins... It's the fiscal new year!"

Celebrate National Submarine Day.

French Animal Noises.

Sal's Birthday Cart

'They're our neighbours. We invited them on the off chance they may turn out to be post-modern.'

'I've got the bill if it's too small.'

'Guy Fawkes and trick or treat - two for the price of one for one night only - please give generously.'

"I love what you've done with that punch bowl Reginald!"

'The spare sack? After a million warm beers and pieces of fruit cake...you'd have a spare sack too!'

Castaways at Christmas

"Picture this: it's my birthday, my mistress comes towards me with a cake and then, she sets it alight! I was so scared I've been feral ever since!"

"It's OK, darling - Granny's crying happy tears."

'He drinks to forget and today it's our wedding anniversary.'

Crater Lake Annual Yogurt Guzzle! This year's flavor: Raspberry Marijuana.

A sign in the front window of a bookstore says "Meet the Pope 2 p.m."

'Hi. I'm Major Fixer-Upper.'

Dog bone Christmas tree

"We decided to combine Halloween and Thanksgiving this year."

A Redneck Christmas

'...46 and still have Principles...'

Funeral - congratulations 1000th customer!

St. Patricks Day Burlesque

Easter Bunny with a Stick and a Carrot.

"Cool! I just scored us tickets to the next Leveraged Buyout-A-Palooza!"

Baubles

'I've decided to give up Lent.'