Quirky Party-goer Pillows

'...46 and still have Principles...'

'Hi. I'm Major Fixer-Upper.'

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

Peel poker.

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

Cow Pinatas

The devil you know and his plus one

"Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Fred, Sam, Brian, John, Walter, Jeff...."

'I'm not very good at mingling.'

"I'm learning to let go and have fun."

Celebrate National Submarine Day.

"Dammit, Hopkins... It's the fiscal new year!"

"Another helping of pretentiousness, anyone?"

"Happy new year!"

"Die alone"

"The originator of the office birthday party."

'They're our neighbours. We invited them on the off chance they may turn out to be post-modern.'

Mobile phone in bar asking for a pint of beer

"I'm excited to leave this party we're going to."

"I love what you've done with that punch bowl Reginald!"

'You opened it five hours ago. If it breathes any more, it's going to hyperventilate.'

'Honey, the guests are almost here and I just realized we don't have enough food. Do you have any suggestions of what they could eat?'

"It's OK, darling - Granny's crying happy tears."

Castaways at Christmas

"Why - do I LOOK absorbent?"

"Picture this: it's my birthday, my mistress comes towards me with a cake and then, she sets it alight! I was so scared I've been feral ever since!"

Crater Lake Annual Yogurt Guzzle! This year's flavor: Raspberry Marijuana.

A sign in the front window of a bookstore says "Meet the Pope 2 p.m."

"I haven't read it yet, but I've downloaded it from the Internet."

A Redneck Christmas

This party better be good. I even had to wash my face!

"Ah – the good, the bad, and the god-awful."

In the Conversation Pit of Hell.

'I limit myself to just one glass of wine a day...'

"Cool! I just scored us tickets to the next Leveraged Buyout-A-Palooza!"