Cheeky Card Player Gifts

'The only thing I don't like about playing solitaire on the computer is you can't peek under the cards.'

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"My mom says I can start a rock band if I call it 'I Love My Mommy'. You in?"

"We've invented a new word!"

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

This year Mike decides to make his own Valentine's cards.

'I don't think my homework is very good. My dog refused to eat it.'

“Look! We’re on the naked cam!”

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

Gopher underground hit by golf tee.

Helicopter dropping golf balls onto a green.

Sticking out tongue

"Tongue twisters! These are hard to say! A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk."

"Have you ever licked cream off a woman's body?"

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

"Your dump or mine..?"

Footballer scores for the first time and wears T-Shirt reading: 'No longer a virgin.'

'Big Issue!'

"Wanna chill at my place?"

Having noticed a hot-looking security woman, Mort quickly penned a note and stuck it in his briefcase.

'I'll see you kidney and raise you my liver.'

"Hey you. I can't get in your house because nobody drew a fireplace or chimney. Not my fault, dude. Well, maybe next year. Ho, ho, ho."

'Anything worn under my kilt? No. Well-used but not worn!'

"When it comes to hide and seek I think this might be cheating."

5,- euro and I'll show you how to hustle 5,- Euro from a doofus!!"

"'Fancy a shag', I think this one is from Dwayne!"

'Just think of it as graphic design, Mom.'

'Man, the next hangover will kill me for sure... that's why I've decided to be drunk 24 hours a day!'

Easter Island

'Look what I found, Dad - Can I keep her?'

'Rudolph! Now I know the secret of your bright and shiny nose!'

'Do I have anything to say before you pass sentence? Yes, but you go first. My remarks depend on what the sentence is.'

(anteater sticking its tongue at passers-by)

'For God's sake, Ellie, we're vegetarian.'

"I'm doing well at school. My teacher says I've got an answer for everything."