Cheeky Card Player Pillows

'The only thing I don't like about playing solitaire on the computer is you can't peek under the cards.'

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"My mom says I can start a rock band if I call it 'I Love My Mommy'. You in?"

"We've invented a new word!"

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

'I don't think my homework is very good. My dog refused to eat it.'

This year Mike decides to make his own Valentine's cards.

“Look! We’re on the naked cam!”

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

Gopher underground hit by golf tee.

Helicopter dropping golf balls onto a green.

"Tongue twisters! These are hard to say! A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk."

Sticking out tongue

"Have you ever licked cream off a woman's body?"

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

"Wanna chill at my place?"

Footballer scores for the first time and wears T-Shirt reading: 'No longer a virgin.'

"Your dump or mine..?"

'I'll see you kidney and raise you my liver.'

'Do I have anything to say before you pass sentence? Yes, but you go first. My remarks depend on what the sentence is.'

5,- euro and I'll show you how to hustle 5,- Euro from a doofus!!"

Easter Island

'Man, the next hangover will kill me for sure... that's why I've decided to be drunk 24 hours a day!'

"'Fancy a shag', I think this one is from Dwayne!"

"When it comes to hide and seek I think this might be cheating."

'Just think of it as graphic design, Mom.'

'Anything worn under my kilt? No. Well-used but not worn!'

'Look what I found, Dad - Can I keep her?'

'Rudolph! Now I know the secret of your bright and shiny nose!'

(anteater sticking its tongue at passers-by)

"I'm doing well at school. My teacher says I've got an answer for everything."

"I always put my assignments at the bottom of the pile, so by the time she gets to it, she'll be too tired to catch all the mistakes."