Cheating Comedian Gifts

'I've got the answers to the test written on my hands and arms. It's old school artificial intelligence.'

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

Bug Spray/Sun Screen

'George! This way quick!'

Servant Painting Targets Around Arrows Shot by a King

'Don't worry about the dishes. I did them.'

"America hasn't been discovered yet -- how about cheddar?"

'Let this guy go. He's working under cover.'

'I hear the meeting was cancelled last Saturday.' - 'Yeah. Someone drugged the hare.'

"The president wants me to stay on as unemployed."

"Hold it right there buster! Is that a wedding ring I can see?"

"I tried to rob a bank and failed! I tried to steal an old ladies bag and failed! So why not use as my defense, the old saying, 'You can't blame a person for trying'?"

Uncomfortably open Mike night.

"Robert prays for the answers."

'...Then I swept down the staircase, into the ballroom.'

"Come on Father, confess. You haven't been keeping to your diet, have you?"

Sprint race about to start. One contestant wearing a rocket attached to his back. The fuse is lit ready to help him win the race.

"You always show up at the WORST possible time!"

Mrs. Bortluber saves all the gunk she cleans from her computer.

"Janet, we have to stop meeting like this. It has become a source of increasing friction in my marriage to Elizabeth."

'You either need an antihistamine or a heart transplant -- I'll have to check your credit rating to be sure.'

'Well, that's what we get for listening to reason.'

I think I'll holiday at home this year!'

"...and then there's the small matter of that ball you planted on the fourth green."

'You, you, you. Why is it always about you?'

'...I'm leaving you for Reg next door'

Man in bath not alone.

Cheating at golf.

'I've always been a bit of a ladies' man.'

"Yes, I'm vegan and no longer eat the prey animals but it's still a lot of fun to kill them!"

'Well, I got that nasty stain out of the carpet!'

An umpire vacuum's home plate.