Cheating Scandal Humorist Gifts

'I hear the meeting was cancelled last Saturday.' - 'Yeah. Someone drugged the hare.'

"Right now Arnold Schwarzenegger is doing sit-ups."

"Bailiff."

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

"Repeat after me..."

'I believe in trial and error, I believe my client being brought to trial is an error.'

'Worldcon' - financial statement fraud exposed.

'For your penance, download five 'Hail marys' and ten 'Our fathers'.'

'Remember, don't discuss the case with the jurors.'

'I committed the sin of pride. I've been gloating over how our church baseball team waxed yours.'

"Guilty times infinity."

'I've got the answers to the test written on my hands and arms. It's old school artificial intelligence.'

"Your Honor, it was a lot for any jury to be expected to believe...but we fell for it."

'As a patient I'm glad because the doctor cured me. As a lawyer I'm sad because there's no reason to sue that guy.'

"Father Fondell. . . your confessional is ready."

Now you can buy shares online. "Buy Cher's What?"

'Your first trial?'

'No, I'm not on trial here. I'm on the jury!'

'We had to bring a judge out of retirement, but we got you a speedy trial.'

'I prefer old fashion email messages. I can always deny I ever got them.'

Sprint race about to start. One contestant wearing a rocket attached to his back. The fuse is lit ready to help him win the race.

'I'm afraid my gag order also applies to thought balloons, counselor.'

"Forgive Edmund, it's like this everywhere we go! Evertime he hears a siren....lawyer, you know!"

"Calm down! This wood doll is the best attorney ourcompany ever had."

"You recused yourself from this case. I recuse myself from jury duty."

"...I'll get you some alone time with the Wilson's poodle."

"Men just won't leave me alone!"

'How did the public know about our positive drug tests?'

'Our accounting errors were due to the fact that we didn't have duplicate copies.'

'...I'm leaving you for Reg next door'

Dirty Harry

'Throw yourself on the mercy of the court...'

'Do you want a lawyer appointed to you?' - 'No thanks your honour, I'd rather throw myself on the ignorance of the court.'

A woman doesn't realise she's speaking to a parrot in confessional.

Pizza for the priest.