Chauffeurs Gifts

Forget The Dog

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

Try Mediation

Man on motorbike with side kennel.

'He rides in the car with his head out the window a lot.'

Music to drive ( others mad) to...

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

Caution (arrow falling from sky sign)

"When the slowest car in the fast lane don't go any slower than the fastest car in the slow lane."

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

Lost around a military base.

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

'Now will you pull over and ask for directions?'

I drive, therefore I am.

A car towing a yacht full of people partying down a rural road.

"Your driver will arrive in 4...9...17 minutes after three accidental loops around the airport."

"Wouldn't it be easier to have sat nav fitted?"

"Even my chauffeur has a chauffeur."

"I have my pants put on one leg at a time."

"Stay-at-home mom" is a misnomer. I spend ten hours a day driving kids all over town!

Guard dogs

"That's why I don't use those dog carriers."

Man whistles while driving his car.

"Lost most of my sight, hearing, teeth and hair. Thank God I still god my driver license."

Big yellow sports utility vehicle.

"GPS? In case we get lost? Why would we need that? We're microchipped."

'HA! Your last chance 86 miles back.'

Metropolitan Prize Puzzles.

Articulated taxicab serving two hotels.

"Sorry, I'm not criticizing your driving so much as I'm marvelling that you're still alive."

An aircraft marshal helps a limousine park

Pets on holiday.

"We apologise for the late arrival of the ten-eighteen..."

A group of ladies fearful to leave their cab as the cabman has mistletoe on his hat