Daily Chauffeur Gifts

"I thought that driving around all day picking kids up and dropping them off, then waiting for them,would be more fulfilling."

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

Man on motorbike with side kennel.

'He rides in the car with his head out the window a lot.'

'No, first start the engine, then bark!'

'It's exactly what I need to drive our only child to school at the end of the road.'

"That's why I don't use those dog carriers."

"Lost most of my sight, hearing, teeth and hair. Thank God I still god my driver license."

Pets on holiday.

"Hi - Mom? Going to Kayla's house? Thanks!"

"Do we look like we're going up?"

'How about wearing a limo driver's cap when taking me to practice?'

For every dog who gets the window seat, there's Steve, the designated driver.

"Let's go! And you're still not getting a car."

'You're late!'

"I think you better let me drive, I haven't renewed your license yet."

'Since you lost your job you're really taking this 'taxi-driver for your kids' thing seriously, Dad.'

'Sorry I'm late, Fred. I forgot to plug in the car.'

'Nope. He doesn't qualify you for the carpool lane.'

"You're not a bad dog for driving. You're a bad dog for not wearing a seat belt."

'Yeah...I don't have a job either. And like you, I am only continuing this routine to keep my wife quiet.'

"It's time to put up rail fares again. . . What are we thinking?"

The light is green.

"I don't know who is more tired, the kids playing soccer, baseball, softball, tennis, lacrosse, volleyball and basketball, or me taking them."

My Day - elevator magazine

Beg here. Pay here.

'Why can't you ride under the dash like other airbags?'

'Sorry I'm late - traffic was insane.'

De-Caf Drivers Right Lane Only

The bus company's new 'time-saving-initiative' was not going down too well with the passengers.

'It's the law. Everybody wears seat belts.'

Lady feeding birds from her car.

"When I ask you to pick up the kids, you only have to get ours."

'It's just natures' way of telling you you're a lousy driver!'

'Which license do you wish to see?'