Chatty Patient Gifts

"Hang on a minute Doc, I've got another 8 minutes left...Did you see Eastenders last night?"

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

Remember my mum? I took that photo a week before she died. There's one of me...that was a good haircut.

'Thanks, but I don't expect you to chew my food for me.'

'Thank God it's Friday', thought the watercooler.

'There's a bench over there why not sit down and rest your weary mouth?'

'Harvey does all his own 'get well' cards.'

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

'Your test results are in - and here's a first, the Lab Techs have asked to meet you.'

"Tell me Mr. Jones. Does it hurt when I do this?"

'Admit it,you've been bothering the nurses again,haven't you?

'Gee, Doc - couldn't you just use a rubber mallet to check my reflexes?'

The New Age Dentist.

"Good news, Mr. Pickett—it's just a slow leak."

'It's a text from Mike - Sorry I'm L8 B THR in a crrrrassssssh!!! ARRRRGGGHHH....;p'

"I just want someone who texts me as often as Joe Biden does, you know?"

Social Notworking

The Weather Channel. We're looking for someone who can talk up a storm.

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

Communication

''Is there anybody there?'

"You just carpe, carpe, carpe."

"Hi! My name is Dr. Jenkins and welcome to 'This is your disease'."

"Oh, she just wants attention or needs help."

"Talk? Hell, after a few drinks you can't shut me up."

"Henpecked?! Don't get me started about being hen-pecked buddy!"

IV Bags: Main and Afters

'No talking' sign at a fishing site.

Neuro Surgery. Staff only. Sorry, that took longer than I expected --- He has a lot of nerve!

'This is a pick 'n' mix ward - you choose your own medicine.'

'I had a stomach ache, so I took bicarb of soda and went to bed early. Did I do the right thing?'

"I see there's been an improvement in your athlete's foot."