Chat-up Line Expert Pillows

'You think you make me nervous? Don't flatter yourself, hot shot.'

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

'Did you just hear that? We are now and endangered species and mating is now our top priority!'

"Remember, I want to hear fifteen solid minutes of small talk before you ask for the Wi-Fi password."

"I'll have to go now, Penny. My boyfriend keeps wittering on about something or other!"

"Be patient with Ed. You can skip his political harangue in 15 seconds and move right onto sports."

'Have we met someplace? Yes, that's why I quit going there.'

"Actually, I don't consider myself to be a have or a have-not. I'm more of a have-to-have."

"Hi. I'm Steve. I see you here all the time."

'What are you doing at the weekend?'

'When a caller asks for me, I'd appreciate it if you'd stop saying 'who'?'

"Linda, when answering the phone it's 'Edward Case, Psychiatrist' not Ed Case..."

Listen to a lot of phone pitches while I'm at work?

'Why Mr.Jones.. Is that you playing FTSE with me under the table? '

"My wife doesn't understand you."

"Beats hanging around the water cooler."

'Excuse me, Miss, but I believe that we've met previously.'

Do you cover broken noses...

'Why does your Superbowl ring have a picture of Captain Crunch on it?'

'I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.'

'So maybe I am a real animal...don't you believe in animal rights?'

"Wow, that was short. You only talked for 45 minutes. What happened?"

"Stick to the script, Larry."

Lou's Barber Shop Discussions

'So...do you bum here often?'

'Andy, you can be honest with me. Do you think I'd make a good manager?' - 'Why couldn't she just ask me if I like her hairstyle.'

"I don't know the meaning of the word 'enough'."

"Hot enough for ya'?"

Party Overhead Signs.

My cell phone minutes don't roll over and I don't want to waste them. That's why I'm dialling random numbers and wishing everyone a good day.

"Okaaay, so 'maybe' I don't 'understand' how air quotes 'work.'"

"Have you got the time?", "No I've got the money."

How about a date tonight? No way...I am getting married today! Well, how about tomorrow then?

"Of course I come here often. I'm the barmaid!"

"Sorry - I didn't catch your name."