Chat-up Expert Pillows

'Why does your Superbowl ring have a picture of Captain Crunch on it?'

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

"Call me?"

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

Remember my mum? I took that photo a week before she died. There's one of me...that was a good haircut.

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

"Remember, I want to hear fifteen solid minutes of small talk before you ask for the Wi-Fi password."

"You look quite presentable when you make the effort. Your ex-wife always told me you scrubbed up well."

'Are they your come to bed eyes or put the rubbish bin out eyes?'

'Have we met someplace? Yes, that's why I quit going there.'

'Easy Chair.'

"What if I tried again with an English accent?"

'Clown-noser.'

'Excuse me beautiful lady, I think you've dropped something... my heart!'

"Be patient with Ed. You can skip his political harangue in 15 seconds and move right onto sports."

"Actually, I don't consider myself to be a have or a have-not. I'm more of a have-to-have."

'I know this may not be the best time, but has anyone ever told you that you have beautiful eyes?'

You remind me of someone I once pulled from the rubble: Pickup lines for heroes.

'What are you doing at the weekend?'

"Is that you or the beer talking?"

'Why Mr.Jones.. Is that you playing FTSE with me under the table? '

"Beats hanging around the water cooler."

'Clarence wondered why he hadn't switched to that new aftershave sooner'

"Do you play?"

'Wow, how tall are you?. . . Let's talk about the eight inches.'

I love you even more than the internet...

' Buy a lady a gallon of unleaded...? '

"Stick to the script, Larry."

Party Overhead Signs.

Lady talking to artist at a party

"Hot enough for ya'?"

'You think you make me nervous? Don't flatter yourself, hot shot.'

"I don't know the meaning of the word 'enough'."

'Is that Nat with a G?'