Chat-up Line Connoisseur Pillows

'Ever hear the one about the travelling salesman, with £100 and a girl he met in a pub?.'

Men gossiping

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

Counselor. It's annoying that he always has to have the second-to-last word

'Would you like to dance?' Woman has 'No' written on her t-shirt. Guy has 'Why not?'.

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

Bookshop: Our Bestsellers - Empty Phrases

"We should probably talk about the elephant in the Roomba."

"I said, you know why women talk more than men?" "What?" "I said, you know why women talk more than men..." "What?"

Can I ask you a question, man-to-man? Sure, little buddy. What do "man-to-man talks" usually consist of? What? I've never really had one, I don't think. What usually goes into them? Sports? Shaving? Carburetors? A little of this, a little of that. There's a proper ratio, of course. I'm not good at math.

White Wine Wisdom (2)

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

Silly News.

'... Press 7 to admit defeat...'

'You do obscenity very well. Can you talk without being obscene as well?'

"NOBODY LISTENS ANYMORE."

"Hold that afterthought!"

'This is our real-time chat room.'

"There's a kind of rhythm to making money that something inside me responds to."

"He says he's a Professor of Rhetoric but I'm not persuaded."

"She never has a bad word to say about anyone, she's always too busy talking about herself..."

"So, have you two been doing anything reproductive?"

"The demise of psychoanalysis? Yes, I saw it coming but you know how it is... denial... repression... projection... compartmentalisation..."

Jenkins discovers the dark underworld of palindrome chatrooms.

"Are you talking to me?"

"Richard has quite an ear for dialogue."

"Don't preted to hibernate when I'm talking to you."

"Is this birds and bees chat going to take long, I'm late for my pre natal class."

A Heart to Heart Talk

'We need something for his verbal incontinence. He has a blather control problem.'

"He's surprisingly good at small talk."

Gallery Opening

'Yes, it was love at first sight. Who would've thought that five years on, I'd be sick of the sight of him?!'