Chat-up Line Connoisseur T-Shirts

'Ever hear the one about the travelling salesman, with £100 and a girl he met in a pub?.'

Men gossiping

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

'Would you like to dance?' Woman has 'No' written on her t-shirt. Guy has 'Why not?'.

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

"We should probably talk about the elephant in the Roomba."

"I said, you know why women talk more than men?" "What?" "I said, you know why women talk more than men..." "What?"

White Wine Wisdom (2)

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

Silly News.

Bookshop: Our Bestsellers - Empty Phrases

'... Press 7 to admit defeat...'

"NOBODY LISTENS ANYMORE."

"He says he's a Professor of Rhetoric but I'm not persuaded."

'You do obscenity very well. Can you talk without being obscene as well?'

'This is our real-time chat room.'

"Hold that afterthought!"

"There's a kind of rhythm to making money that something inside me responds to."

"The demise of psychoanalysis? Yes, I saw it coming but you know how it is... denial... repression... projection... compartmentalisation..."

Jenkins discovers the dark underworld of palindrome chatrooms.

"So, have you two been doing anything reproductive?"

"She never has a bad word to say about anyone, she's always too busy talking about herself..."

"Richard has quite an ear for dialogue."

"Are you talking to me?"

"Don't preted to hibernate when I'm talking to you."

"Is this birds and bees chat going to take long, I'm late for my pre natal class."

A Heart to Heart Talk

'We need something for his verbal incontinence. He has a blather control problem.'

"He's surprisingly good at small talk."

'Everything's heavenly! How about you?'

The Land of the Uncomfortable Pause

'Yes, it was love at first sight. Who would've thought that five years on, I'd be sick of the sight of him?!'